the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
