I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Boobs are out for the taking
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
