Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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