I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
