I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
