Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
