What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
