There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Where did you get a picture of my penis
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
