he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
