nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
