If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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