I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
