he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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