You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
