But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
