so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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