I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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