I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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