Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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