and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
