You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize