just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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