woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize