She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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