there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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