can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize