Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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