At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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