Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize