the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
