I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
