Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
