Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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