I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
