I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
