And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
