I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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