your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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