I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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