..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
