it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
