I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
