My first STD was from a foam party
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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