tell your sister to shave her snatch
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
