Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize