he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
