Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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