One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
