So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
