in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
