just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We have started to decorate penises.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
