Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
