White coat. Heels.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
