Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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