Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize