i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
