just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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