We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
