Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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