well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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