my shit smells like andre
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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