He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize