i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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