I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
