If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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