i jhust puked up my retainher.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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