If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
